Nuts

Why is it that nuts are really around this time of year? Roasted and salted or sugar and spice.

This afternoon I went to the Post Office with no issue, just a lady with a proper smile. So that was nice! I drove my daughter Red Beatle. It is fun to drive and cute. 2009 I believe.

We had a plumbing problem that put us in a hotel for three day and now we are back and more snow is coming. On the way to drop off dogs at kennel for the holidays the puppy barfed on the husband while I was driving. So we had to stop for new clothes and hold off on lunch that we just picked up to get rid of the smell.

Earlier last week on Tuesday before the break from teaching I got pulled over by a state trooper. Just a warning. My poor youngest started crying…I think she thought I was in serious trouble.

So it was a eventful week. We cancelled the trip to Branson and no seeing relatives in Arkansas for now. Not sure if the plumbing bill will be a doozy. I hope everyone is having a good break especially my fellow teachers who needed a mental break. Back to semi resting today.

On my last note. My God-parents we lived across the street in Panama on Albrook Air Force base had a son named Tony, Benito. He passed away in the last week. He was a little older than my brother. Our families and others in the neighborhood had some great “Parandas”, moving parties during the Christmas season at all hours singing in the front yard until my parents answered and everyone even the kids went on the with the moving party in our PJ’s while people danced, drank, eat and played music. These were fun time to remember. Betty and Ricardo, I am so sorry for the loss of Benito. May he rest in peace.

-Adios

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Critical Input and the Spanish Inquisition

Spending hours on making my PPG and SLO goals for School and Spanish is making my mind hurt. The house it quiet and empty of kids. The hub took them to the movies. Maybe Ghostbuster movie? This was done to give me peace and quiet. However I could just cry.

Three years have passed since the death of my Dad. He would have been 75 on 3 NOV. I have concluded I have acquired his temper. “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition”. My husband reminds me of this and we laugh. Waves of emotion come unexpectedly. Sometime laughs, sometime tears. Today angrily doing the dishes that sat overnight in the sink. What would my Dad do? Push on. Yes Drill Sargent I see the light…..We are to live and to remember those who we loved and lost. We are to suffer, as my Catholic faith would remind me. I’ll put two silver coins in.

My concern is, am I making a difference in someone’s life by teaching Spanish? Are my kids resilient when dealing with my Spanish temper? I need to find better ways to handle my stress according to my doctor after discussing my 2 cm aneurysm. Not to worry….will follow up every year to make sure it hasn’t enlarger. I believe exercise and prayer are some of my likes. However it is I and only I who can get off my rear to lose the spare tire I carry. Or as a 1st grader asked “Are you having a baby”? Time to get my fitness on and stress less. Maybe combined with Yo Yo Ma, and Salsa music the old me will come back. I miss my cheerleader Rafael Guadalupe. Yep Dad Yanks were eliminated, Raiders are ok, Gruden out and I think the Razorback will actually head to a bowl game for the first time since 2015.

Off to eat in peace in my pajama pants.

Adios

The term “Going Postal”

Every time I go to the PO I get irritated. You don’t really hear going postal anymore…..but trust me people are chapped. I have stuff to mail, pick up or stamps to buy. The one office close by has two people that I have seen work in the office, but they both take off during the lunch hour. The one I went to in a larger town nearby doesn’t open until 0830. In this office they don’t have a lunch hour but when I came back at 0832 there was a line out the door, with one lady working who was pleasant. However everyone just stood there like they expected this wait. No wonder this place has financial problems. I could go to stamps.com (this is not an add for them). Or I could go to a shipping store who does fantastic work. Poor me wants to give them a chance and to see if they may change, but every time I am disappointed. I don’t expect amazing customer service, just maybe being open for working people after work and during lunch hours. If this is not available please make the machine available during these times and we won’t need a person. I do have respect for all those delivering mail and this included a family member. So keep up the great work!

-Adios

Drivers, friends and Donkey Brains

The eldest officially driving. It makes me so nervous. She is a very cautious driver and she will be good. It makes me feel old, although I have friends whose kids are in college and others having babies.

My dreams of my Dad are still happening and I don’t think they will ever end. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. How could I have deleted my last voice message from him? My uncle Felix has been messaging me about family member and sending pictures of my Grandfather in Puerto Rico. He was handsome like my Dad. So I have also talked to his sisters, and cousins in Spanish and English, depending on where they are. So amazing to see who they are and learn about their lives.

About 6 weeks till in-service days start. My textbooks and my plans and other goodies are in my trunk still. I feel like if I bring them in, it will be time to really look at them and do more planning. We are going back to a normal schedule pending any other COVID issues.

Yesterday for the first time in a long time I literally rested on the Sabbath. My husband went to the store for parts for the teenager’s Volkswagen and food to cook for breakfast. I painted my nails which is rare. Then went to the state park close by and walked for over 45 minutes. I got home in time to watch the EURO Cup 2020. I am glad Italy won, but I’m still impressed with England. Literally I sat down for hours and then tried to take a nap, but I had a headache that made last night sleeping difficult. After some food and medicine I am feeling a little better,

I feel I have fallen away from Church. I have been to Mass a few times, but during COVID we didn’t go much at all. One reason was after having surgery last summer I was worried about infection and also getting COVID. I realize he is always with me and hears my prayers. I know he hears the prayers and sometimes I am so tired I believe I drift off while praying. I’ve been trying to pray while doing other tasks and to not complain about doing housework. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one keeping things up inside the house. Soon my hub will be changing schedules again. Going to 7on and 7off. One reason is a friend and coworker had brain surgery and has Cancer. They laughed about “Donkey brains” from Its always sunny in Philadelphia. So my hub is covering his old job which his friend has now, but is probably getting Chemo or radiation in the future after recovery from surgery. So who knows. He’s doing his current job as well as his old job, while he recovers and praying that he gets better while his wife is also pregnant for the first time with their first baby. So there are many prayers to be said. One more that is very important is my dear friend Sarah who is pregnant with her second child. We are the same age, and God willing will have a easy healthy 2nd trimester.

Lastly my Mom sent me a picture of a rainbow and she was smiling! She looks so happy with this smile on her face and this makes me so happy. I know her boyfriend took the picture and I pray this continues. I have not seen her this happy. I think of all the hard times we have had as a family and now I am so glad God has blessed her.

-Adios

Weight of it all and napping

So if 2020 and 2021 was weird, bring it on 2022. We have some time to make it weird too I bet. While our school never closed as a whole, we did many ways of teaching. Kids in the classroom and at home on zoom. Some working and many not.

Having a certified teenager driving with an attitude. Do we allow her to work? How many students work? I didn’t work till my Senior year.

Generally there are many things to think over and I feel like I don’t have a partner to discuss it all with. A person with PTSD, short-term memory loss and traumatic brain injury and a general negative attitude. So one should take this with a grain of salt and know how to deal with such a person. No positive affirmations or caring. I know I have many people who care. 44 has been a year to remember.

Pushing myself to help myself is difficult without my cheerleader.

So its Forgiveness day. A friend who I last talked to since 2016 contacted me. After the death of her brother and Mom, we chatted. Then nothing for years. No we chat through letters. I have gotten over and forgive her for the last time we were together. Moving on.

Missing my father, take no crap, man brought up in the Bronx. I really need you straight words. No wishy washy advice.

-Adios

Fighting Voter Suppression: Living the Legacy of Mississippi Burning 56 Years Later — Connect With Mercy: The Official Blog of the Sisters of Mercy

By Sister Jan Hayes On June 21, 1964, James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner were murdered by members of the Ku Klux Clan in Neshoba County, Mississippi. The three young men—two white and one Black, all in their 20s—were working with the Freedom Summer Project to register African Americans to vote. They had spent…

Fighting Voter Suppression: Living the Legacy of Mississippi Burning 56 Years Later — Connect With Mercy: The Official Blog of the Sisters of Mercy

Languages and E learning

via Languages and E learning

Languages and E learning

Week seven of E learning.  Things are smoother.  However there is a lack of actual speaking and this is something I must contend with.  There is a lot of reading and writing, but now I must master using voice and video.  Having my own YouTube channel is good, but I am so nervous to talk to them online!  Do I have something green in my teeth or a something up my nose?

Not to mention I must seclude myself in a room with no noise from the animals, children and the husband.  Instead I get “Where is my brush?”, “What is for dinner?”  “She is looking at me!”  “Please braid my Barbies hair!”  In between dogs barking to be let into the new backyard area, but still pooping indoors on occasion.

I feel like I haven’t talk to my Mom enough lately.  She is working a lot as usual.  Keeping busy with a marketing group and her man friend.  He is very nice and treats her nicely.

Turns out I need to bring my flower plants indoors tonight and Friday, since its supposed to freeze and snow in parts of Wisconsin.  I was enjoying having the windows open, although the majority is sneezing from the yellow pollen covering most surfaces outside.

We bough a $200 car for the eldest.  A slow work in progress before she starts driving for real.  This should prove to be interesting.  I may need more patience.

Back to work folks!

-Adios

Babies crying

Why is it, that whenever I witness a birth on TV or hear a newborn it makes me want to cry? A good happy cry.  In the privacy of my own home when watching “Call the Mid-wife”, I usually cry when the baby comes out.  Hormones?  Or just the power of childbirth.  It is so insane that a human can pass out a large 8 lb burrito or small turkey and be so in love with that gray looking alien.  One out of three didn’t come out screaming.  The last was was silent during the C-section birth.  Then I saw them rush her to side of room, sucking her nose and rubbing her back.  Then wham….the screaming I knew from number one and two when they were born, starting up like a machine.  To this day when any of them is crying I know which one it is.  Is it the same way with animals?  Not to mention the Mom look’s and kids look’s that don’t even need to be said.  I just know what is being thought of.  Like right now number two and three want to go on walk with the puppy, but I have correcting late work for this mid-term. I know they asked.  And I can see it in their faces.

But work calls…… I love the kids waiting till the very LAST day to turn in work.  Yes its a different time and we should be more patient.  But it seems it is the same kids that did the same thing while we were physically in the classroom.  Where do I draw the line?  At midnight tonight… on a Sunday?  Nope I will be in my bed sound asleep.  Or will I be awake worrying about these kids.  The kids that are hungry or parents having them work on the farm or other jobs right now.  Or kids getting the crap kicked out of them.  Three kids I know who have attempted to take their lives.  How did God lead me here?

I feel I am a servant sent to love, maybe tough love some days.  I know God will show me his will and he love is present in my life.  Many days I need more patience then other days.  I think many of us are feeling a little cattywampus. I will keep stepping…

-Adios

Day after day, my life is good….

What does one do, when everyone is getting tired of each other? We try to be nice or just all go separate ways.  There are two Dogs, four cats and five humans.  Netflix, Hulu, YouTube Tv, Books, walks, treadmill and lots of naps.

Add to that staff zoom meetings, emails and more emails.  Prayer at various times of the day.

I’m watching the sneaky wind blow the tree branches outside my dining room.  The birds are hanging on and wanting to eat on the bird feeder, but its a challenge.  A pine tree guides this side of the house from any great views.  Its kind of yucky today, gray and gloomy for now.  The grass is looking better in patches, but our back yard is looking a little trashy.  Its full of toys, pieces of woods from the new fence.  The youngest decided to paint part of the fence a vivid orange.  So yeah it is good its not facing the front street.  We have character, that is what you could say.

Am I the only one who is bothered by my house being a cesspool? Toys, blankets, paperwork, laptops, and floors that Cinderella needs to sweep and mop.  The current floor person is still asleep in her stinky room.  The teenager with attitude finally saw her friend that is a boy.  First time in 5 weeks. Or six weeks….what day is it?

I brought a plant given to me when my Dad passed away, home (from my deserted, lonely Spanish) classroom, but now it sits in the back of my SUV along with a backpack of sweet teaching goods I could probably use in these last few weeks.  Maybe….do I feel that ambitious.

I am considering painting my nails.  I have been napping regularly and its wonderful and the family most likely appreciates me if it helps me be less like the Grump dwarf.  “The youngest and I read “Snow White” before bed.  She sits now in her Ana gown from “Frozen” while playing with dolls on the couch.

What feels like the start of summer is summer with lots of responsibility on my shoulders.  On the shoulder that was supposed to get a MRI on, to see if its ripped or a torn rotator cuff.  It happened during Hurrican Katrina, yeah that was 2005.  Yep mothers care about themselves last sometimes.  As well the shoulder, a breast reduction is in the future, unless we are still here arguing over whether a toddler should have another bowl of cottage cheese. Its different for Men.  Here we are Mom and maybe some Dads at home going insane inside my brain.  I should be more thankful.  Dear lord I am so glad I have a job and wont get laid off.  If so I will do whatever to take care of this crew of misfits.  I do love them! I’m just not feeling like the normal me. I do speak to sometime in the medical via the internet.  So yes I have reached out for help last year.  To quote Ignacio from “Nacho Libre” “My life is Good”.

-Adios